


The Good, The Bad, and The Shuichi

by DoomedTemperament



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Bad Flirting, Clones, Crack Treated Seriously, Eventual Smut, Humor, M/M, Sexual Tension, Threesome - M/M/M, it's almost time you guys!!!, sort of set in salmon mode but also not???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2019-08-02 15:53:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16308158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedTemperament/pseuds/DoomedTemperament
Summary: Shuichi watched the two carefully. Their personalities were indeed different to those who were observant enough; Kurokichi seemed more abrasive, while Shirokichi seemed more considerate. Were they truly representatives of Kokichi’s inner being?(Also known as: Kokichi gets split into his “good” and “bad” halves, and Shuichi has to deal with it.)





	1. The chapter where Kokichi crams himself into a washing machine

**Author's Note:**

> I’d like to preface this by saying YES I AM STILL WORKING ON SEVEN FULL HEARTS. I’ve been feeling incredibly uninspired, and I’m struggling to write. This fic is my attempt to get back into the flow of writing so I can get out of this artistic rut.
> 
> I’d also like to say that this is the most ridiculous fucking thing I’ve ever worked on in my entirety of fic-writing.
> 
> Enjoy???

“Behold!” Miu shouted, her voice echoing in the vastness of her lab, “The latest, most bitchin’ invention you virgins will ever see!”

Shuichi watched with moderate interest as Miu lifted the heavy sheet that was covering her latest gadget. Apparently, she had been spending the last two days working nonstop on…. whatever it was that she was unveiling. She’d been incredibly secretive about her project, almost to the point of suspicion, but when she had made the announcement in the dining hall that morning for everyone to gather in her lab, Shuichi couldn’t help but follow along.

As the sheet fell to the ground, Shuichi found himself looking at… a pair of washing machines, connected together by a series of pipes. There were a few extraneous fixtures that Shuichi may have suspected were just for flair, but in the end, there didn’t appear to be much else to it.

Silence, and then,

“Um, that’s very… surprising, Miu,” Kaede said, with a grin that looked just the tiniest bit forced.

“I can tell you have a lot of pride in it,” Kiibo added, in an equally awkward voice.

“So am I the only one who doesn’t see what’s so special about this?” Kaito asked, and received a harsh jab in the side from Kaede.

Miu glared at Kaito, and pointed an accusatory finger at him.

“Hah! Of course a simple-minded pussy-dryer like you wouldn’t understand!”

“Pussy-dryer?!” Kaito said in disbelief.

“Anyway!” Shuichi cut in, “I’m sure there’s more to this thing than meets the eye. So, Miu, What exactly does it do?”

Miu huffed and folded her arms across her chest.

“This machine sorts, washes, dries, and folds your laundry for you in the blink of an eye. Since we only have a few outfits in our closets and the original machines were so small, this is gonna save a fuckton of time!”

“How does it work?” Maki asked, looking as impressed as her expression would typically allow.

As Miu explained the intricacies of her invention to everyone, Shuichi glanced at Kokichi, who was examining the machine with an expression of curiosity tinted with mischief. Shuichi wasn’t sure how long he’d been staring, but it must have been longer than necessary, because Kokichi caught his gaze, and smirked at him. Shuichi quickly looked away.

“So, Miu,” Kokichi said, turning to Miu rather than calling Shuichi out, “What happens if a person goes in this thing?”

Miu paused, thought, and twisted a strand of her hair.

“I… don’t know. It’s supposed to be childproofed in case Monokuma or those annoying cubs try to mess with it, but there’s no telling how much of them is biological matter or machinery. That stupid pink one keeps throwing up all over the place…”

“So if someone climbed in there, would they just come out naked or something?” Kokichi pressed with stars in his eyes.

Miu began to sweat, and and said, “Well duh, that’s what would happen!” And, in a quieter voice, added, “...Maybe.”

Kokichi grinned, and shifted his attention to Kaito. “Hey, I bet you a million dollars that you’re too chicken to get in that thing and test it out.”

“You don’t even have a million dollars,” Kaito retorted.

“Fine, fine, you got me. But I do have a million casino coins!” Kokichi said.

The fact that Kaito seemed to actually be considering the offer concerned Shuichi deeply.

“Disgusting,” Tenko said with her signature sneer, “Of course the degenerate wants to expose himself in front of innocent eyes.”

“Don’t get mad at him,” Kokichi said, and put his hands behind his head, “If anything, get mad at Kiibo! He struts around without clothes every day and he never gets any flak!”

“H-hey!”

Shuichi watched the four of his supposed classmates argue with each other. Without a moment of thought beforehand— something that he would later regret— he spoke up.

“If you’re not a chicken, then why don’t you test it out, Kokichi?”

Time seemed to stop for a brief moment. Kokichi looked at Shuichi, completely blank-faced.

“Wow Shuichi, I didn’t know someone as mild-mannered as you had the ability to throw someone else under the bus like that!” Kokichi finally said, and smiled.

“Uh, thank you?”

“Hey, wait! Yeah, why don’t you try it out first, Kokichi?” Kaito urged with a smirk.

“Perhaps my own lack of clothing will reassure you?” Kiibo spoke, and Shuichi could swear there was a glint in his eyes.

“I bet he’s too scared to let us see his string bean dick!” Miu cackled.

“W-wait, I wasn’t actually suggesting that he should do it!” Shuichi tried to stop the slowly-forming chaos, but it was too late.

“This is going to be interesting,” Ryoma said, and pulled his beanie down to partially obscure his eyes.

“I suppose this is karma,” Korekiyo hummed from behind his face mask.

“M-maybe we should leave,” Himiko suggested, turning pale.

“How curious!” Angie called out, clapping her hands together in glee.

As more and more of the students in the room latched onto the idea, Kokichi’s poker face grew more and more strained, and his face slowly began to turn red. He glanced at Shuichi again, and Shuichi could only look at him, helpless.

“You’re going to regret that, you know,” Kokichi said with a bright smile.

Shuichi gulped.

Eventually, the other students who remained in the lab (Miu, Kaito, Maki, Angie, Korekiyo, Tsumugi, and Kiibo) watched eagerly as Kokichi opened the door to the leftmost washing machine and crammed himself inside. Even considering his overall body type, it was hard to believe he could fit inside it. Shuichi began to grow nervous.

“If I don’t make it out alive, give all my shit to Kirumi,” Kokichi said, and glanced at Miu. “Alright bitch, let’s get this thing moving!”

Miu stepped forward and closed the door, then carefully fussed with the dials on the machine. Everyone watched with bated breath as she pressed the “wash” button.

The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife as the machine rumbled and shook. Shortly after, a warped, bloodcurdling scream rang out, and the tension turned to panic.

“Miu, what's going on?!” Shuichi called out, and Miu tried to back away nervously.

“He should be fine! J-just don’t open the door yet, okay? Otherwise he could get majorly messed up!”

_Ding!_

The timer on the machine went off, and the room fell silent.

Slowly, carefully, Shuichi turned to face the invention. He looked at the doors to each side, unsure of what to do… until the leftmost door began to shake as someone— or something— banged against it.

“Hey, let me out of this thing already! I feel like I’m being squashed to death in here!”

“S-see? I told you he’d be fine!” Miu cried out as Shuichi rushed to open the left washing machine’s door.

The moment that the door was open, Kokichi climbed out and stretched. He looked eerily… normal. But there was something off about him, something that Shuichi couldn’t quite name.

“Ah, your scarf…”

Kokichi looked down at himself, and grimaced. His scarf had gone from a black and white checkerboard pattern to pure black.

“Well, this sucks.”

Shuichi tried not to sigh audibly, relieved that Kokichi was fine but not wanting to express it so openly. Everything was fine.

Or so they thought, until the right washing machine’s door began to thump dully.

“Can I get some help please?”

Everyone froze.

That was definitely Kokichi’s voice. But Kokichi was already with them… right?

At that point, nobody was sure what to do— certainly not Shuichi, of all people. The thudding continued for several seconds longer, until finally, Kokichi (or rather, who they had assumed was Kokichi) groaned in frustration and marched over to the machine, muttering; Shuichi could have sworn he heard the word “cowards” in the mix.

The door of the machine was forced open, and out tumbled…

…

...Kokichi?

Shuichi watched, completely dumbfounded by the sight in front of him. There were… two of Kokichi. They looked almost exactly the same, save for the fact that the one Shuichi had let out was wearing a black scarf, and the second one that had just fallen out of the other washing machine was wearing a white scarf.

“What the hell…” Kaito said, breaking the silence.

Suddenly, Shuichi felt as though his stay at this supposed “Ultimate Academy” was going to be much more stressful.

* * *

“B-basically,” Miu stammered as she examined the machine, “There was a problem with the childproofing. But I swear, I didn’t make any mistakes when I tested it out last night!”

Both Kokichis looked at Miu, unimpressed (though the one wearing the white scarf seemed to repress it more.) Tsumugi had left in a hurry to alert the others of the current _situation,_ and everyone else had remained, some too startled to move from their spots. Shuichi looked at the two Kokichis, and opened his mouth to say something, anything—

“Puhuhu! What do we have here?”

—And promptly shut it.

From out of nowhere (as per usual), Monokuma had appeared in the lab with his signature laugh. He waddled towards the machine and put a hand to his chin.

“Hmm, yep! This machine has definitely been tampered with!”

Shuichi furrowed his brows, and watched Monokuma as he puttered around.

“If that’s the case, what happened to Kokichi? Why are there, uh… two of him?”

Monokuma turned to face Shuichi and folded his stubby arms across his chest.

“It appears as though he’s been split into two separate halves, one good and one bad.”

“Kokichi has a good half?” Maki asked bluntly, earning an affronted noise from the Kokichi in the white scarf and a snicker from the Kokichi in the black scarf.

“Of course,” Monokuma continued, “They should share most of the original’s characteristics, as well as his memories. He’ll be back to normal eventually… provided that nothing unfortunate happens to one of the halves, puhuhu!”

Shuichi took a moment to process Monokuma’s words.

“Wait a second… how do you know all this? Were you the one who tampered with the machine?”

Monokuma hummed— “Who knows?” And with that, he spun and disappeared into thin air.

“What shall we call these halves?” Angie asked, putting a finger to her chin.

“Why are you so accepting of this? It makes no sense!” Kiibo said.

“Are you willing to question the motives of a bear who could so easily turn our lives to turmoil?” Angie said darkly. “Do you not remember how capricious he is?”

Kiibo had no answer.

“Um…” Shuichi spoke up in an attempt to change the subject, “How about… Shirokichi and Kurokichi?”

The Kokichi in the black scarf scoffed, and carelessly examined his fingernails.

“Naming us by our scarves? Really? I know you’re more creative than that, Shuichi.”

“Well,” The Kokichi in the white scarf said, tilting his head, “It’d be more convenient for everyone else to remember. And we need to have some sort of name, right?”

“Ugh, fine,” The Kokichi in the black scarf— now known as Kurokichi— said boredly.

Shuichi watched the two carefully. Their personalities were indeed different to those who were observant enough; Kurokichi seemed more abrasive, while Shirokichi seemed more considerate. Were they truly representatives of Kokichi’s inner being?

“Now that that matter is solved,” Korekiyo said calmly, “We should decide how to keep track of these two. One Kokichi by himself is autonomous, but two Kokichis could be significantly harder to keep track of.”

“Maybe we should assign someone to look after them,” Kiibo suggested.

“But who would—” Shuichi started, but cut himself off when he noticed the others pointedly staring at him. He hesitated. “...Why me?”

“You’re the only one Cuckichi would ever listen to,” Miu said, “And none of us would be able to whip two of the gremlins into shape.”

_“Whip?!”_

Miu cackled, and Shuichi looked to the others helplessly. Despite the guilty looks on their faces, none raised an objection. Shuichi sighed, defeated.

“Looks like Shuichi’s our keeper until we get back to normal!” Kurokichi snickered. “We’ll try not to cause too much trouble, right Shirokichi?”

“Right,” Shirokichi nodded. “Take care of us, Shuichi.”

Shuichi grimaced.

_This is going to give me a headache, I know it._


	2. The chapter where (half of) Kokichi becomes a phantom thief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How long will it take for them to be one person again?” Kaede asked after nearly collapsing to the floor.
> 
> “We… don’t know,” Shuichi said.
> 
> “Don’t you think that uncertainty makes it more interesting though?” Kurokichi said, and glanced at Shuichi slyly. “You don’t know how long we’ll be around, so you had better treasure our presence.”

Somehow, it had taken only the first part of the morning for everyone to accept the presence of two Kokichis, in the loosest sense of the word (Tenko’s screech of terror had imprinted itself on Shuichi’s mind, possibly to remain there permanently.)

After everyone had called an emergency meeting in the dining hall, Shirokichi and Kurokichi had been “introduced”, receiving a myriad of reactions from suppressed shock to nearly fainting.

“How long will it take for them to be one person again?” Kaede asked after nearly collapsing to the floor.

“We… don’t know,” Shuichi said.

“Don’t you think that uncertainty makes it more interesting though?” Kurokichi said, and glanced at Shuichi slyly. “You don’t know how long we’ll be around, so you had better treasure our presence.”

 _Don’t blush,_ Shuichi thought to himself, and promptly blushed.

“I do apologize for saddling you with such a heavy burden,” Kirumi said apologetically.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Shuichi said, and stopped. “Well, it is that big of a deal, but I’ll survive. Somehow.”

“Hey, can we at least pretend like I’m not in earshot?” Shirokichi pouted.

“Sorry,” Shuichi said, feeling slightly admonished for his rudeness.

“You know, just because there are two of us now, that doesn’t mean you should treat us any differently than you normally would,” Shirokichi continued. “I may be sugar, spice, and everything nice, but that doesn’t mean I’m fragile!”

“Wouldn’t that make you a girl?” Shuichi asked, earning a quiet ‘hah’ from Tenko.

“Maybe I can use my magic to turn them back to normal,” Himiko said, then frowned and tugged her hat down. “Or maybe that will take up too much mana…”

“Gonta don’t want Himiko to use too much energy!” Gonta said worriedly.

“Well, Monokuma did say they’d go back to normal eventually,” Shuichi said, glancing at the two Kokichis.

Or rather, Shirokichi. By himself.

Kurokichi was nowhere to be seen.

“Did anyone see Kurokichi leave?” Shuichi asked.

Silence.

“Oh,” Shirokichi said after a moment, “That’s probably not good.”

It took all of Shuichi’s effort not to whimper.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you!” Shirokichi added, “After all, he and I share a hivemind, you know?”

Shuichi looked at him skeptically, but urged him to keep speaking.

“Let’s see… he’s probably looking for some way to differentiate himself from me.” Shirokichi frowned and bit his thumbnail. “But since all of our clothes are shared in the original Kokichi’s room, we don’t have anything that could set us apart aside from the scarves we’re wearing.”

“You don’t think he’d wear someone else’s clothing, do you?” Tenko said nervously.

“I don’t think anyone else would have clothes that fit our style, or our bodies. He’ll probably be modifying what he already has on.”

“So could he be in Tsumugi’s lab?” Shuichi asked. “After all, she’d have a sewing machine and spare fabric in there, right?”

“I guess he could be there,” Tsumugi said, turning oddly pale.

“Well then, what are we waiting for? Let’s catch him!” Shirokichi grinned and grasped Shuichi’s hand, dragging him out of the dining hall.

Several minutes later, as Shuichi opened the door to Tsumugi’s research lab, he braced himself for whatever was in store. _Will he be in some sort of fantasy armor?_ He wondered. _Or maybe something colorful… oh god, please don’t let him be in a dress._

What he ended up seeing was both better and worse.

The interior of the room was dimly lit, making it hard to look around when the lab lights would normally already be on. In addition, the room was completely silent. The humming of the stage’s rotating backgrounds was gone, making the entire room feel eerie, like something out of a horror movie.

Shuichi squeezed Shirokichi’s hand nervously.

_(Why was he still holding it, anyway?)_

Suddenly, a cackle rang out from somewhere in the room. Something blew past Shuichi’s front, lightly pressing against his chest for the briefest moments.

“H-hey, what’s going on?!” Shuichi shouted.

Without warning, the spotlights on Tsumugi’s stage turned on with loud clicks, and seconds later, with a puff of purple smoke, Kurokichi appeared— but now, he was sporting a white suit with a purple and black checkered undershirt, a top hat, and a monocle.

“Did I get ya?” Kurokichi said with a grin.

Shuichi and Shirokichi stared at him.

“How did you set that all up so quickly?!” Shuichi asked, dumbfounded.

“What, you’re not going to appreciate my performance?” Kurokichi frowned, “And after I put so much effort into making a show for you two! H-how ungrateful!” He sniffed, and the lights in the lab turned back on.

“I didn’t mean to—” Shuichi started.

“Huh, you actually believed those tears?” Kurokichi asked, tilting his head as the crocodile tears faded. “You must be even more gullible than I thought, Shuichi. It’s a good thing you’re cute.”

“I’m going to ignore that comment.”

“Anyway,” Kurokichi said, cutting Shuichi off, “Give me your honest opinions on this outfit. But make sure they’re only good ones.”

Shuichi and Shirokichi looked at each other, both sporting bemused expressions.

“That costume is cheesier than I imagined,” Shirokichi grimaced.

Kurokichi looked away and shrugged. “It was the only halfway-decent costume that fit me. Tsumugi really has trash taste in cosplay choices.”

(Somewhere in the library, Tsumugi sneezed.)

“That being said,” Kurokichi continued, “I guess I should just stick to my own clothes.”

And he began to undress right in front of them.

“Wait wait wait!” Shuichi said, covering his eyes as Kurokichi tossed away his accessories and worked on his shirt, “Can’t you save that for when you’re in your own room?”

“Nope!”

Shuichi groaned, glanced at Shirokichi, and turned to walk out of the lab, only getting a few steps away when he felt something hit his back with a _thwap._ He glanced at the floor and picked the offending object up— Kurokichi’s pants. His eyes widened and he tossed them back to Kurokichi, forcing himself not to let his face turn tomato-red when he accidentally caught a glance at his ridiculous red and yellow striped boxers.

He left the room to the sound of not one, but two sets of mischievous snickers.

* * *

The rest of the morning, and most of the afternoon, passed as smoothly as it could. In other words, not at all.

Shuichi spent a good majority of the time trying to keep the two halves of Kokichi out of trouble, and while it was easier to convince Shirokichi to behave (as much as any Kokichi could ever behave,) it was significantly harder to keep Kurokichi from causing mayhem.

“Get away from me, you stinky-crotched midget!” Miu shrieked as Kurokichi chased her throughout the hallways.

Shuichi frowned as he watched the two; Kurokichi was holding onto a terrarium full of beetle larvae from Gonta’s lab, with one hand on the lid, prepped to release the bugs at any given moment.

“Come on, they’re just some itty bitty bugs! They’re not even out of the terrarium yet! Don’t be such a whiny bitch!”

Before Kurokichi had a chance to release them, Shuichi snagged him by the collar, causing him to lose balance and almost drop the terrarium. He turned his head to glare at Shuichi as Miu made her escape.

“I thought you hated bugs,” Shuichi said.

“I do. But they were in a container, and it was fun to terrorize Miu about it, so I could deal,” Kurokichi said with a shrug.

“Why were you chasing her, anyway? Normal Kokichi wouldn’t do that.”

“Well duh, but I’m not normal Kokichi. I’m supposed to be the bad Kokichi, remember? The culmination of every ugly and problematic part of him? So I might as well live up to my name while I can.” Kurokichi said neutrally.

Shuichi looked at him for a long moment.

“Do you really think of yourself like that?”

Kurokichi stared back at Shuichi, wide-eyed, before he closed them and sported a shit-eating grin.

“Neeheehee! You really thought I hated myself, didn’t you? Don’t you know that being the bad guy is fun? I’m going to enjoy this as much as I can!”

With that, Kurokichi wiggled out of Shuichi’s grasp and ran in the direction he had seen Miu run to. Shuichi watched him go, too lost in his thoughts to go after him.

_Did he mean that? Is that really how Kokichi sees himself? Or was it just another lie?_

Shuichi didn’t have too long to dwell on it, because shortly after, Shirokichi tapped him on the shoulder, startling him out of his ponderings.

“Kirumi said it’s almost time for dinner.”

Shuichi groaned, and hoped that things wouldn’t end in disaster.

(Soon enough, he would realize his hopes were in vain.)


	3. The chapter where Shuichi is hand-fed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Y’know Shooch, as a supreme leader, I’m constantly at risk of being poisoned by my enemies. In fact, one of them could be hiding among us right now!”
> 
> Shuichi furrowed his brows, tilting his head back to dodge the chopsticks, and said, “I… don’t think that’s the biggest of our concerns right now.” A pause, and then, “Did you just call me Shooch?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna start renaming the chapters, oops.
> 
> This chapter is even more ridiculous than the last two tbh.
> 
> Please enjoy!

The dinner spread that Shuichi and the others arrived to was mouth-watering, to say the least. Kirumi must have been slaving away in the kitchen; A variety of both traditional and western dishes were available (the gyoza in particular had Shuichi’s stomach rumbling) and in the center of it all was an extravagant arrangement of fruits made to look like a bouquet of flowers.

It was perfect… except…

“Ah, there are only sixteen chairs, aren’t there?” Shuichi asked.

Kirumi frowned, and Shuichi suspected that there was nothing good to be said.

“I’m afraid I couldn’t find any more, aside from those in the classrooms, which were covered in layers of dust… If there had been more time, I would have gladly made arrangements.”

“Looks like someone’s gonna have to either kneel on the floor or sit on someone’s lap!” Kurokichi snickered, and pointedly leered at Kiibo.

“Don’t look at me like that!” Kiibo said, embarrassed.

“Fine,” Kurokichi clicked his tongue, and glanced at Shirokichi. “Hey, you’re the nice one, right? You should—”

“Don’t even finish that sentence,” Shirokichi said.

Shuichi grimaced, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“ _I’ll_ do it.”

All eyes in the room fell toward him, and he squirmed under their scrutiny.

“You know what,” Ryoma spoke up after a shocked silence, “I think I might just eat in my room. One of you, take my chair.”

Shuichi internally heaved a sigh of relief.

Ryoma, after filling his plate, walked toward the door, only pausing for a brief moment to give Shuichi what might have been a pitying look. Shuichi wasn’t sure if he should have appreciated it or not. As everyone began to take their seats, he noticed that Shirokichi and Kurokichi weren’t sitting together, rather, with a gap between them. And it was apparent that he was expected to sit between the two.

_This can’t end well._

“Well,” Rantaro said, easing the tension, “I say we should dig in. We don’t want to let Kirumi’s food get cold, do we?”

Sounds of approval rang through the room, and everyone began to fill their plates. Shuichi paid no mind to the others as he followed suit. He savored the taste of the food, contentedly chewing away. Kirumi really was a master of the kitchen, and the delicious food was almost enough to distract him from his responsibilities of the time.

Until, of course, Kurokichi poked his cheek, and pointed his chopsticks (conveniently holding a piece of grilled fish) directly at his face.

“Y’know Shooch, as a supreme leader, I’m constantly at risk of being poisoned by my enemies. In fact, one of them could be hiding among us right now!”

Shuichi furrowed his brows, tilting his head back to dodge the chopsticks, and said, “I… don’t think that’s the biggest of our concerns right now.” A pause, and then, “Did you just call me Shooch?”

“As Shirokichi’s and my official keeper, don’t you think it’s your responsibility to make sure one of us doesn’t keel over and die? We’d be extra vulnerable!” Kurokichi questioned firmly, and waggled the chopsticks. “So you should make sure this isn’t poisoned.”

Shuichi narrowed his eyes at Kurokichi.

_You might actually be enjoying this._

“There was no way of knowing who would take which foods. If there’s any poison in here, don’t you think we’d all get s— _mmmmh?!”_

Shuichi’s deduction was cut short by Kurokichi stuffing the piece of fish into Shuichi’s mouth, and slowly dragging the chopsticks out as he swallowed. Shuichi felt his face begin to heat up.

“Okay, what the _actual fuck,”_ Kaito muttered.

“Don’t do that,” Shuichi warned with a crack in his voice.

“Hey,” Shirokichi said with a frown, “If he gets to hand-feed you, don’t you think it’s only fair that I get to do it too?”

“What an interesting development,” Korekiyo hummed.

Shuichi watched with slowly-dawning horror as the others observed the scene, all with varying degrees of amusement, confusion, and distaste.

“Nobody is hand-feeding anyone, okay?” Shuichi said in a tone of voice that was much closer to pleading than he would have liked.

His statement apparently did nothing to deter them, as he soon felt Shirokichi tapping his shoulder.

“Shuichi?” He said in a quiet and careful voice, so much that Shuichi couldn’t help but turn his head to look at him.

He was holding up a small strawberry, batting his eyelashes as if to say _‘pretty please with sprinkles and syrup and a cherry on top.’_

Shuichi frowned.

“This is getting ridicu— _mmmph— ‘noggidoff!”_

Shirokichi withdrew his now-empty fingers from Shuichi’s mouth with a satisfied smile, and wiped them on Shuichi’s cheek.

Kurokichi frowned, and flicked rice at Shirokichi.

“Stop throwing food at each other like children,” Maki said darkly.

Both Kurokichi and Shirokichi looked at her.

“If you insist,” Kurokichi shrugged, and flicked more rice… at Kaito.

The small clump hit Kaito squarely between his eyes, and Shuichi might have found it a bit funny if he wasn’t still processing the feeling of _Shirokichi stuffing his fingers in his mouth._

_Get a grip!_

“Two can play at that game,” Kaito glowered, and tossed a mushroom at Kurokichi.

“Atua has declared that this is the perfect opportunity for a food fight!” Angie said cheerfully, and splashed her glass of water at Tenko, who screeched as she got drenched.

“H-hey, maybe we should calm down,” Kaede tried to appease the two, but froze when several noodles were flung into her hair. “Okay, that’s it!”

Shuichi watched the scene unfold like one would watch a train wreck in slow motion; What had startled as simple teasing had devolved into more than just a food fight— it was a full-on food war. Fillets, eggs, rice, even soup broth, all were flying through the air and making a mess of the dining hall. Shuichi snuck a glance at Kirumi, who was watching all of this with a tick in her expression. Shuichi supposed even in such a dire time, she needed to keep her composure. And she did, until speckles of sauce stained her otherwise-immaculate dress, and at that point, she snapped. Shuichi had to duck as Kirumi grabbed a pork bun with lightning reflexes and flung it across the room with a feral cry.

Suddenly, he felt a tug on his sleeve.

“Come with me if you wanna survive this clusterfuck!” Shirokichi whispered harshly, and nimbly pulled Shuichi away from the warzone.

As the two escaped the dining hall, Shuichi couldn’t help but glance behind him, wondering why Kurokichi hadn’t followed them.

“Is Kurokichi going to be okay in there by himself?” Shuichi asked, trying to block out the steadily-louder sounds of chaos.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Shirokichi reassured Shuichi, “We’ve been through a lot worse.”

“If you didn’t cause so much trouble for others, you might not find yourself in so much,” Shuichi advised.

“You think we don’t know that?” Shirokichi said in a tone of voice that was surprisingly flat.

Shuichi halted, which made Shirokichi nearly stumble.

“So then, why do you do it?” Shuichi asked.

Shirokichi stared at him with an impossible-to-read expression on his face. 

“Think about it this way: You’ve been doing detective stuff for a long time, right? And you’ve gotten so good at it that you’re even called the Ultimate Detective. But what would you do if you suddenly didn’t have those fancy deduction skills? You don’t know, do you? Imagine that, but ten times worse for me. Us. Kurokichi and I. Whatever.”

Shuichi looked at Shirokichi, trying not to let his jaw slacken. Even if it was just a brief glimpse, Shuichi felt like he had managed to see a part of Kokichi’s inner machinations. Shirokichi bounced back quickly though, adding a _“Neeheehee, or maybe that’s just what I want you to believe!”_ before scampering off.

Shuichi watched as he left, and tried to process the information he had learned that day.

Kurokichi and Shirokichi were letting out much more information about the true nature of their combined self; Shuichi suspected that it was because the two had independent thought processes, rather than being able to work together as a single unit. And, despite their names, the two were starting to reveal that Kokichi himself was not just a strictly black-and-white entity.

And the realization that he was beginning to understand Kokichi better made something uncomfortably pleasant settle in his gut.


	4. The chapter where Shuichi's dorm is invaded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi stared, dumbfounded, as he opened the door to reveal Kurokichi, who was in an uncomfortable state of undress for the second time that day.
> 
>  
> 
> _It’s like the stars are conspiring against me or something._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in an artistic rut but I'm trying to claw my way out.
> 
> Might completely rewrite this if I decide I don't like it later.
> 
> Sorry 'bout the wait.

Kokichi’s personality was beginning to make more sense. When Shuichi realized this, two thoughts went through his head. The first was, _“Why do I care so much about understanding him?”_ and the second was, _“I’m definitely not ready to deal with this right now.”_

Instead of dealing with his feelings, he decided the best thing to do would be go to for a walk outside and away from the school.

He wandered aimlessly, not following the paths, and only vaguely registering the sound of the slightly-overgrown grass shifting beneath his shoes. Occasionally, he kicked over a stone or two, and every once in a while, he’d look up at the darkening sky… or what was visible of it through the glass dome everyone was encased in. It was enough of a distraction that Shuichi was, for a brief moment, able to forget about the worries of the day. No thoughts of twin troublemakers, no food being flung through the air, no questionably-engineered washing machines, just peace and quiet.

Of course, after about half an hour, the serenity he felt was replaced by a twinge of fear as he returned to his dorm, only to find that the door was cracked open and the lights were on. It wasn’t like he had anything to hide in his room (or at least, not that anyone had reason to look for,) but the words that one of the monokubs had spoken from within the exisal before being overruled— _a killing game_ — had him concerned. He hadn’t known his classmates for more than about twenty days (despite time feeling like it dragged on for much longer) so it wasn’t completely impossible that someone was secretly planning to—

“Wow, you naughty pervert!”

Shuichi stared, dumbfounded, as he opened the door to reveal Kurokichi, who was in an uncomfortable state of undress for the second time that day.

_It’s like the stars are conspiring against me or something._

“Why are you in my room? What are you doing? How did you get in here?” Shuichi asked, setting aside his discomfort in pursuit of answers.

“One, Shirokichi is in my— well, our— room, and I don’t want him pestering me. Two, I’m getting ready for a shower, in case you were too focused on my body to notice my food-covered clothing and hair. Three, I pick locks. Or did you already forget that?” Kurokichi said easily.

Shuichi looked at him flatly.

“How are you planning on showering if you don’t have a clean set of clothes with you?”

Kurokichi smirked, and said, “Well duh, I’ll be borrowing some of yours.”

“You’re… lying, right?” Shuichi asked, tilting his head. “There’s no way any of my clothes would fit you. You have to know that.”

“I do know that,” Kurokichi agreed, “Which is why I’ll just borrow a shirt and nothing else! I’m sure it’ll be long enough to cover my delicates. Unless…” His smirk grew wider, “You wanted to see them.”

_Don’t think about Kurokichi in your shirt and nothing else._

_Don’t think about Kurokichi in your shirt and nothing else._

_Don’t think about… damn it._

“Uh, no,” Shuichi said, forcefully dragging his mind out of the gutter.

“Good, because I was lying about that,” Kurokichi shrugged, and crouched down to pull something out from under Shuichi’s bed: A spare outfit, stark white and spotless.

“Just don’t take too long,” Shuichi sighed, and walked past Kurokichi to flop onto his bed. It was still early, but damn if the day hadn’t been exhausting.

“I’ll be out before you know it!”

With Kurokichi’s vague agreement, Shuichi kicked off his shoes and socks, not even bothering to take off the rest of his clothes as he tried to fall asleep. The sound of the small bathroom’s shower starting and the pitter-patter of water was enough to lull him to rest, even enough to ignore the satisfied “ahh” that came from Kurokichi as he showered.

The last thought that went through Shuichi’s mind before he fell asleep was,

_When did he stash a spare set of clothes under my bed, anyway?_

* * *

Heat. Too much heat.

Shuichi scrunched his nose and shut his eyes tighter, squirming as he felt himself begin to sweat. It felt like he was entangled in something; There were some sort of restrictions clinging onto him, and the more he tried to wiggle his way out, the tighter they closed around him. It was only when he was fully awake that he had an inkling of what was going on, and at the thought, he forced his eyes to stay shut.

“We know you’re awake, Shooch.”

“Please stop calling me that.”

Shuichi opened his eyes, only to find out that his exact thoughts had turned to reality. There were not just one, not just two, but three people crammed onto the tiny bed. Shuichi was sandwiched between Kurokichi and Shirokichi, who were radiating body heat like furnaces. They were also cuddling him, which was sort of embarrassing; While it was pleasant to have the physical contact he had been missing for who-knows-how long, it was also incredibly weird to have the person (or in this case, persons) who some considered to be his “foils” be taking part in something so overtly affectionate.

“Is there some reason you’re both in here?” Shuichi asked, trying to pry Kurokichi’s legs away from his own.

“Well,” Shirokichi said as he removed his hands from Shuichi’s torso, “Last night I noticed Kurokichi didn’t come back to our room, so I figured he went to yours. After I picked the lock, you two were already asleep. And I didn’t want to wake you up by taking Kurokichi away, but I couldn’t just leave him unattended.”

Shuichi blinked.

“That almost makes sense.”

“Of course it does,” Kurokichi spoke smugly, “But he conveniently left out the part where I woke up and convinced him to join our little snuggle party!”

“Shirokichi!” Shuichi gaped at him, and Shirokichi smiled with only a trace of remorse in his expression.

“I didn’t lie, I just took out part of the truth!”

“Either way, Shooch, you were super clingy last night,” Kurokichi continued, stretching. “If you wanted someone to be rubbing up against you during the night, all you had to do was ask, right Shirokichi?”

“...”

“Hey, don’t ignore me!”

As the two sides of Kokichi bickered, Shuichi stood up from the bed and made his way to the closet, picked out one of his many identical outfits, and headed towards the shower.

“At least they won’t join me in here,” He murmured to himself, and stepped out of his clothes.

He firmly pushed out the expectation that they actually would.

The shower brought a certain calm to his mind, one that he knew he’d need for the rest of the day. He still thought it was a bit unfair to have the responsibility of looking after two Kokichis put onto him with no expectations of getting help from the others, but he also knew that none of the others would be able to tolerate them as much as Shuichi did… aside from maybe Gonta, but Shuichi wasn’t willing to see what would happen in that case.

_So why do I tolerate him, or them, so much? It’s strange. One moment, I feel like I really understand them, the next, they leave me guessing. I just don’t know what to do. Maybe this is their way of keeping me from being bored, since that’s what they hate…? But then, it’s probably unintentional._

_There’s no way Kokichi, or his halves, would be trying so hard just for me._

_...Right?_


	5. The chapter where Kokichi's halves get the message across

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shirokichi and Kurokichi glanced at each other, then back at Shuichi, both tilting their heads in curiosity. It was actually sort of cute, though Shuichi would be hard-pressed to say that out loud.
> 
> “That way, we’re in a calm environment, I can read, you two can do… whatever, and we’ll possibly find out some answers about the mystery of this place,” Shuichi continued. “Are you two willing to do that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry it's been forever since I updated. Been having some on and off writing issues, along with my last semester of college nearing its end. Please take this as my quasi-apology.

When Shuichi exited the shower, he was relieved to discover that Shirokichi and Kurokichi had left his room, presumably to go to breakfast. The relief was short-lived, however, when he remembered the events of the previous night; The food fight that they’d instigated probably left some of his “classmates” in sour moods, and Shuichi reluctantly admitted to himself that he didn’t feel as bad about the situation as he should have.

At least Ryoma would probably find it funny.

After switching into a fresh pair of clothing, Shuichi left his dorm room and headed towards the academy. As nice of a breakfast as Kirumi (with the aid of others) had created, Shuichi had decided to eat as fast as he could. This didn’t go unnoticed by Kokichi’s halves.

“Geez Shooch, what’s the rush?” Kurokichi asked.

Instead of answering, Shuichi leveled Kurokichi with a blank stare, completely ignoring the nickname.

“Are you two done eating?” He asked, earning a snort from Kurokichi.

“What are you, our mom?”

Shirokichi grimaced, and added, “Yeah, we’re done.”

Shuichi stood up from his place at the table, then, and looked at the two firmly.

“Good. In that case, we’re going to the library.”

Shirokichi and Kurokichi glanced at each other, then back at Shuichi, both tilting their heads in curiosity. It was actually sort of cute, though Shuichi would be hard-pressed to say that out loud.

“That way, we’re in a calm environment, I can read, you two can do… whatever, and we’ll possibly find out some answers about the mystery of this place,” Shuichi continued. “Are you two willing to do that?”

Shirokichi gave a noncommittal shrug, but didn’t argue. Kurokichi looked like he was mulling it over in his head, but soon smiled wickedly.

“Sure. I bet we’ll find all sorts of interesting things in there!”

 _Oh, I don’t like the sound of that voice,_ Shuichi thought, but motioned for the two to follow him to the library anyway.

* * *

As Shuichi flipped through the pages of a cartography book, he could hear Kurokichi and Shirokichi murmuring to themselves. The library had, up until that point, been relatively quiet, which was a pleasant surprise. Kurokichi had been searching through the shelves as if he was on a mission, and while Shuichi didn’t know what he was looking for, he was relatively sure there wasn’t anything that could let him cause mischief. Shirokichi, on the other hand, had been humming to himself as he tried to stack several books into some sort of cityscape. It had remained that way for almost an hour, and Shuichi was so close to letting himself relax that he almost missed the snorting half-giggle from Shirokichi.

A quick glance behind him revealed that the two were huddled towards some book, snickering and flipping the pages.

_Just let them be. There’s nothing for them to cause trouble with in here, and they’d get covered in dust if they tried anything._

_Though… I wonder what they’re laughing about anyway…_

Shuichi carefully stood up, and approached the two. Upon closer inspection, they were huddled over some sort of novel, which was strange to say the least; Shuichi had expected a manga.

“Oh hey, Shuichi!” Shirokichi beamed at him, “We’re just about to get to the good part! Wanna join us?”

Shuichi raised an eyebrow.

“The ‘good part’?”

Kurokichi cleared his throat, and began to read aloud.

_“It’s beyond erotic. I’m so close. Suddenly she bares her teeth, gently squeezing me, and I’m undone, ejaculating into the back of her throat, crying out my pleasure.”_

Shuichi’s jaw dropped.

“Ugh, can you imagine using teeth?” Kurokichi said in distaste, ignoring the sputter that escaped Shuichi’s mouth. “I mean, I get that this is supposed to be a kinky book, but seriously, what if the girl bit him or something? So unsexy.”

“Why are you reading that sort of thing?!” Shuichi said in a strained tone.

“As if you’ve never read a dirty book before,” Shirokichi chastised him.

“I haven’t!” Shuichi protested.

“Well then, let this be your first!” Kurokichi smirked, almost sinister. “It’s so bad it’s hilarious. Unless you’re afraid of some ink on paper, that is.”

Shuichi sighed.

_Why this? Why now? Why me? Weren’t the hand-feeding and the cuddling and the undressing enough?!_

…

_Wait._

Suddenly, the puzzle pieces began to fall into place.

“Are you two… doing this on purpose?”

Kurokichi and Shirokichi looked at him, neither wearing a readable expression.

“What do you mean?” Shirokichi asked.

Shuichi pursed his lips and looked away, thoroughly embarrassed.

“With the… with all the weird, um, behavior you two have been showing… it’s… are you two just messing with me, or are you trying to convey some sort of message to me?”

“You can use big boy words, you know,” Kurokichi encouraged backhandedly.

Shuichi couldn’t even bring himself to look at them for what he was about to say.

_If I’m wrong about this, I’m going to look like a dumbass._

“Are you two…” Shuichi hesitated, “Trying to, in some weird way, proposition me?”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Oh my god,” Shirokichi sighed in exasperation, “He’s finally getting a clue!”

“Wait, so you are?!” Shuichi exclaimed, disbelieving.

Kurokichi hummed, placing a finger to his chin in a false sense of innocence, and said, “It really took you a long time to notice that. Or is it just because we’ve been more overt about it?”

“As if you were even close to subtle,” Shuichi cut back.

“But you didn’t even notice until we practically spelled it out for you,” Kurokichi said spitefully.

“Also, it wasn’t like we never had any interest in you before now,” Shirokichi added in an apparent attempt to defuse the situation.

It worked… sort of.

“What do you mean?” Shuichi asked, confused.

“Well,” Shirokichi said, looking down (though it was hard to tell how sincere he was from the way he was angled,) “Even when we were just plain old Kokichi, we tried flirting with you a lot. You just never noticed.”

“And that’s not a lie,” Kurokichi added.

Shuichi frowned.

“If this is a prank, it’s not funny.”

“You don’t listen, do you?” Kurokichi said, and gripped Shirokichi’s wrist to drag the other away. “Time to leave Shuichi to his lonely, sexually confused thoughts.”

“Let’s see if we can take off Korekiyo’s face mask!” Shirokichi said.

Shuichi watched the two as they left, and rubbed his forehead.

That was more than enough complication for one morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book excerpt was from a snippet I found online from some book in the fifty shades series. Google searching for "bad smut excerpts" doesn't disappoint.


	6. The chapter where Shuichi makes a move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi hesitated, and nodded.
> 
> “They’ve been flirting with me. Heavily.”
> 
> Rantaro whistled, and said, “You finally noticed? Good, I was starting to get worried.”

_Splish, splash._

Shuichi kicked his feet back and forth, and let the cool water of the pool ease his mind. He’d been there for longer than he should have, considering his toes were beginning to prune. But he needed a place to think, away from the others, and since nobody seemed to make much use of the pool after the initial discovery, Shuichi figured it would be a good place to escape. 

Reflecting on the situation, it should have been obvious. Even before Kokichi had been split into two separate halves, he had been dropping hints for Shuichi to pick up on. 

_“Do you need to get laid or something, Shuichi? If so, you should join my secret organization once we get out of here!”_

_“Oooh! To be honest, I’ve always wanted to strip for you!”_

_“It means… you can do whatever you want to me. And that’s the truth.”_

(Okay, maybe Kokichi only dreamed about that one and didn’t actually say it.)

Shuichi groaned, running his fingers through his hair.

“How does anyone even begin to process that sort of information?” He mumbled to himself.

“What information?”

“Gah!” Shuichi yelped, nearly letting himself slip into the cold water. A look behind him revealed the man of mystery himself, Rantaro. “What are you doing here?” Shuichi asked.

“What, can’t a guy come to swim every once in a while?” Rantaro shrugged.

“You’re not even wearing a swimsuit.”

“Maybe I was planning on skinny dipping,” Rantaro added, “But I doubt I’m the one you’d want to see doing that.”

Shuichi flinched, and said, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

With a heavy sigh, Rantaro shook his head and tutted, almost-but-not-quite condescendingly. “How long have you been here?” He asked, ignoring Shuichi’s question altogether.

“What time is it now?” Shuichi asked.

“It’s almost lunchtime, so I’d say around eleven-thirty?”

“Ah,” Shuichi said mildly, opting not to mention the fact that he’d been at the pool for over half an hour doing nothing but getting lost in his thoughts.

Rantaro slipped his shoes off and sat beside him, idly dipping his feet into the water as well.

“So. Can I assume that Shirokichi and Kurokichi had something to do with why you’re sulking?”

Shuichi hesitated, and nodded.

“They’ve been flirting with me. Heavily.”

Rantaro whistled, and said, “You finally noticed? Good, I was starting to get worried.”

Shuichi grimaced— That definitely wasn’t the reaction he was hoping to get. He looked down into the pool, examining his reflection without really thinking about it.

_So Kokichi was flirting with me. Both as one person and as two. And I’m supposed to react to this… but how? I’ve never really considered Kokichi as someone to date. He’s frustrating and hard to read, and he’s not exactly the nicest to everyone else… but, he’s always been someone I want to figure out, and I can’t say it’s ever been boring when he’s around. Oh god, I’m beginning to sound like him. What do I do? I’ve never even considered Kokichi in a romantic light… and two of him would be even harder to get a grip on. But if talking to them has taught me anything, it’s that they’re not really that bad. Then… is it possible that—_

“I’m okay with it?” Shuichi said, only realizing that he had said it out loud when Rantaro patted him on the shoulder.

“Now you’re figuring it out!” Rantaro said with an easygoing smile that was, for once, not very cryptic.

Shuichi blinked at him.

“What do I do now?” He asked, removing his legs from the water and standing up straight.

“Hmm,” Rantaro hummed, “It depends on how comfortable you are with the realization. I’m not particularly interested in romance, but I say if you find you’re interested in it, you should go for it. No harm in trying, anyway, since he’s made it pretty obvious that he’s into you. That they’re into you, I mean.”

Shuichi nodded, and thanked Rantaro as he picked up his shoes and exited the pool.

As a detective, even an amateur who didn’t want to acknowledge his status to begin with, Shuichi knew there was only one way to get a concrete answer to his problem: He’d have to seek out Shirokichi and Kurokichi.

* * *

Even with Shirokichi and Kurokichi in attendance, lunch was a surprisingly quiet affair. Shuichi poked at his pilaf, occasionally glancing to his left and right, where both Kokichis were seated. He had almost expected the two to bring up their embarrassing conversation earlier to embarrass him, but neither said anything. Sure, they had antagonized Tenko once or twice (or rather, Kurokichi had while Shirokichi looked somewhat apologetic, if not by much) but there was no awkward discussion to be had. Everything was almost too normal. Shuichi lifted a cluster of rice to his mouth and chewed, trying not to remember the feeling of Shirokichi’s fingers against his lips. Another glance between the two, only interrupted by the sound of Rantaro clearing his throat. Shuichi looked up at him; Rantaro merely raised an eyebrow in response, making a vague hand motion as if to say, “get on with it.”

“Shirokichi, Kurokichi,” Shuichi said firmly, “After we’re done with lunch, I need to talk to the both of you.”

“Hm?” Kurokichi leaned back in his seat, “What about? You didn’t want to talk when we were in the library.”

“Let’s just call it confidential matters,” Shuichi said, looking away. “After all, a supreme leader— er, supreme leaders— should be willing to discuss new information away from prying eyes, right?”

Across the table, Miu snickered. Shuichi ignored it.

“Well,” Shirokichi said brightly, “When you put it like that, there’s no way we can refuse!”

“Good.”

The rest of lunch was just as calm, and Shuichi would have liked it if it weren’t for the tension slowly building within him.

_Maybe this was a bad idea after all. I don’t know what their reactions will be, and—_

“Are you going to stare at your bowl all day or are we going to talk?” Kurokichi’s voice interrupted.

Shuichi frowned as he noticed everyone but himself and Kokichi’s separations had finished eating and left the room.

“We’re going to talk.”

_No going back now._

Shuichi waved his hand for the two to follow him into the hallway, far away enough from the kitchen so Kirumi couldn’t hear them talk as she cleaned. A deep breath, and then, Shuichi spoke.

“I’ve been thinking about what you two were telling me earlier.”

The two looked at each other in perfect sync, then back to Shuichi.

“Go on,” Shirokichi encouraged.

“And… you weren’t joking, were you? About… your interest?”

“We already told you we were serious, didn’t we?” Kurokichi answered, curious. “Is that all you needed to ask us?”

“No!” Shuichi said quickly, and paused nervously. “Well… I was thinking, um. What if I were to say I was interested in an experiment?”

Kurokichi suddenly laughed, a loud, almost barking sound.

“Oh my god, you totally want to have a threesome, you kinky fucker! I knew it!”

“What?!” Shuichi gaped at Kurokichi, “Th-that’s not it at all!”

Kurokichi’s expression immediately blanked.

“Well duh, that was an easy lie. You’re too afraid of your own feelings to want that yet.”

“I’m not afraid of my feelings,” Shuichi countered.

(It could have technically been interpreted as him saying he would, in fact, be okay with a threesome, but thankfully neither Kokichi half brought that up… for the time being.)

“And,” Shuichi continued, “I want to see if I can prove that.”

Shirokichi’s expression lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Hey, hey! Does that mean we can kiss you or something mushy like that?”

Shuichi tugged at his collar, and said, “Well, I was thinking along the lines of that, but not exactly… But, if it will show you I’m serious about this, then I can.”

“Wow,” Kurokichi tilted his head, “I wasn’t actually expecting you to agree with him.” And then, in a somewhat softer voice, “You always surprise us, you know?”

“I call dibs on first kiss,” Shirokichi said brightly, and tugged on Shuichi’s jacket to bring him down, their lips only mere inches apart.

“Can I have a second to actually get ready?” Shuichi asked with a mixture of exasperation and nervousness.

“Mm-hmm.”

Carefully, Shuichi lowered his eyelids, and leaned forward. Shirokichi’s lips were soft, slightly textured, and even as he felt his own face begin to heat up slightly, he couldn’t say he didn’t find some enjoyment in it. When he finally pulled back, he swallowed thickly and looked at Shirokichi, who was sporting an undeniable blush.

“My turn!” Kurokichi said enthusiastically, practically whirling Shuichi around and tugging him down with a smirk. “Last chance to back out of this, you know? Once you kiss me, we’re not gonna want to separate from you. So you’ll have to keep dealing with us.”

Instead of answering, Shuichi pushed forward to bring his lips against Kurokichi’s as well. He wasn’t sure if he imagined it or not, but it sounded like a small noise of surprise escaped Kurokichi. Like his kiss with Shirokichi, it wasn’t bad; Shuichi could have pulled away and savored the silence between them, if Kurokichi hadn’t suddenly blown a raspberry against his mouth and backed away.

“Come on Shiro, we need to get out of here.”

Kurokichi quickly grabbed Shirokichi’s sleeve and tugged him away, leaving Shuichi to stand in the hallway, more than a little confused and conflicted.

* * *

Later, as Shuichi entered his room to contemplate a nap, he was surprised to see a sheet of paper with a series of words scrawled in purple gel pen neatly folded on his bed.

_lOrem ipsUm doloR sit amet consectetuR adipiscing elit dOnec nOn Mi fAcilisis facilisis eros egeT faucibus veliT vEstibulum ut cursus arcu curabitur a egestas Neque in luctus erat in consectetur facilisis._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUEHUEHUE.


	7. The chapter where Shuichi waits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite his distaste for the book, Shuichi pressed forward. After all, he had no idea what Kurokichi and Shirokichi had planned for him— better to be safe than sorry.
> 
> /Wait, when did I start thinking of that sort of thing as a possibility?/
> 
> /...And why am I not questioning it?/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's only been three-ish days since I posted chapter six, but I finished chapter seven pretty quickly and I was too excited about it to hold off on posting it for any longer. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it... huehuehue.
> 
> If you'll notice, I have fixed the chapter count to ten. This means that after this, there are only three more chapters! But worry not, because they're all going to be pretty long.

_OUR ROOM AT TEN._

Shuichi looked over the note once again as he laid on the bed, still unable to sleep. Not only was it extremely vague, but there was something about the concept of being in Kokichi’s room late at night that gave him nervous butterflies. The last time he had caught a glimpse of Kokichi’s dorm had revealed… well, it was hard to put into words what he’d seen. The strange whiteboard and the horse mask had been indicative of something, though.

Shuichi groaned to himself, and set the note inside one of the desk drawers.

“Hmm, what’cha got there?”

Shuichi nearly slammed the desk drawer on his fingers as he practically jumped. A look behind him (and a little bit below) showed the form of Monokuma, who was rubbing his hands together and… blushing? Could robots even blush?

“Nothing important,” Shuichi lied.

“Hah! You should know better than to try to hide things from me, kid!” Monokuma said, bringing out a set of claws. “I have eyes practically everywhere! Nobody can keep secrets here.”

Shuichi blinked, and furrowed his brows.

“So then, hypothetically, would you know what Shirokichi and Kurokichi are planning?”

Monokuma hummed, and tilted his head mock-thoughtfully.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.”

“But you just said—”

“Hmph! As if I’d actually see what you kids are getting up to in your rooms,” Monokuma said, looking as if he was about to sweat in some kind of perverse ecstasy. “You young adults are just full of raging hormones. We have to keep this show PG-13, you know? I’d only invade your rooms if I thought it was important.”

“How thoughtful,” Shuichi said dryly, and paused. “Wait, then why are you in my room?”

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been neglecting your date tickets!” Monokuma growled irritably. “You haven’t been increasing your hearts! This show is going nowhere!”

“So nobody else is using date tickets either, then?” Shuichi raised an eyebrow, “That seems a little odd.”

“Oh, the others have been using tickets,” Monokuma waved his hand dismissively, “But you’re the fan-favorite! The audience wants to see you interacting with people aside from the clones.”

Shuichi looked at Monokuma flatly. “You’re the one who messed with the machine and caused them to split in the first place. Technically, this is your fault.”

“...”

“...”

“Fine, fine,” Monokuma said, seemingly pouting, “I’ll tell the BDSM broad how to fix the machine.”

“You can’t do it yourself?” Shuichi asked, tilting his head.

“Nope! My paws can’t handle equipment properly.”

“Then how did you—”

“Bye now! Puhuhu!”

And with that, Monokuma spun out of Shuichi’s room.

Shuichi stared at the spot where Monokuma had been moments before, and heaved out a deep breath. If even Monokuma didn’t know what Kurokichi and Shirokichi were up to, it couldn’t mean anything good. But then again, if Monokuma was going to tell Miu how to fix her strange contraption, that meant it was only a matter of time until the two could merge back into one being. And, for some reason, Shuichi felt somewhat disappointed at the thought.

* * *

_Eight hours until I’m supposed to be there._

Shuichi shook his head to clear his thoughts. He was spending time with Kaede in her research lab, watching and listening as she played the piano elegantly. It was a wonderful atmosphere, and Shuichi wished he could have appreciated it more, but that damn note kept floating to the forefront of his thoughts.

“Are you okay, Shuichi?” Kaede asked. Shuichi frowned, and looked away guiltily.

“I’m fine. Just kind of… spacey today.”

Kaede frowned as well, and looked down at her piano keys.

“Look… I’m sorry that we saddled you with Kokichi’s halves. I can tell it’s been stressing you out even though it’s only been a couple of days, but you were the only one of us who seemed to actually understand him. I guess we were wrong to dump all of that responsibility on you, though.”

Shuichi approached Kaede awkwardly; “It’s… fine. I think things will be okay, I’m just trying to process a few things right now.”

Kaede glanced up at him, and said, “Do you think we’ll be okay once we get out of here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Kaede continued, “None of us really know what the outside world is like now, or where we are, or what we’re going to do once we’re out of here. I feel like… I feel like being here has almost been a good experience. And I bet you feel similar too, right?”

Shuichi hesitantly nodded.

“I think being here has been interesting, but I don’t want to stay here forever. Still, I hope I can manage to keep contact with all of you. As weird as it is to say, you’ve all become close friends to me…”

“And you feel that way about Kokichi too, don’t you?” Kaede asked curiously, causing Shuichi to force down a blush.

“You could say that, yeah…”

Kaede smiled, then, something warm and gentle. Shuichi supposed he’d grow to love it in another life, but in the here and now, it felt friendly. Platonic. And maybe Shuichi preferred it that way.

“How about I play you something to ease your mind?” Kaede suggested, and tapped a finger against her chin. “Um… oh, I know! I’ll play something modern. Have you heard _Leaves in the Wind_ by Isaac Shepard?”

“I haven’t,” Shuichi said with a smile.

“Then I’ll change that now!” Kaede said happily.

The music rang throughout the room.

* * *

_Six hours until I’m supposed to be there._

Shuichi flipped through the pages of another boring book. A Brief History of Electronics; Something that was probably more up Kiibo or Kaito’s alley, but Shuichi figured it could potentially hold clues to the creation of Monokuma, or perhaps their containment. Unfortunately, it was just as fruitless as his attempt with the cartography book earlier that morning.

_This morning…_

Shuichi couldn’t help but let his view wander over to the shelf of books that Kurokichi and Shirokichi had been reading next to. Eventually, his gaze landed on the piles of books that Shirokichi had stacked, then to the, ahem, piece of literature that Kurokichi had shared.

_Don’t even think about it. It’s a bad and stupid idea, and there’s no reason for you to do it. Just keep reading this incredibly boring and useless book…_

…

_Oh, to hell with it._

Shuichi set aside the history book, and carefully walked towards the corner of the floor where Kurokichi’s book had been discarded. Slowly, hesitantly, he picked up the book, almost treating it as though too much contact would burn him. With pursed lips, he flipped through the pages, his eyes scanning through each line.

_...This is really trashy. How could those two stand to read this, even ironically?_

Despite his distaste for the book, Shuichi pressed forward. After all, he had no idea what Kurokichi and Shirokichi had planned for him— better to be safe than sorry.

_Wait, when did I start thinking of that sort of thing as a possibility?_

_...And why am I not questioning it?_

With a grim expression, Shuichi glanced around the empty library, and continued to read.

* * *

_Four hours until I’m supposed to be there._

Shuichi stuffed the spoonful of soup into his mouth, hardly taking any time to savor the taste of Kirumi’s cooking. He knew he was probably getting some odd stares from the others— Himiko in particular was giving him a strange look— but he couldn’t bring himself to care too much. Despite the slightly uneasy feeling in his stomach, he wanted to finish dinner as soon as possible.

_I really shouldn’t have read that book._

Occasionally, Shuichi would steal a glance at Shirokichi or Kurokichi. Neither of them seemed to pay him any mind; In fact, they hadn’t pestered him, and perhaps not even anyone else, since the end of lunch. It was suspicious that they were practically ignoring everyone, but at the very least, there was no trouble caused. Yet.

Another glance at Shirokichi. This time, he actually met Shuichi’s eyes, and offered a cheerful smile, though it was hard to gauge how sincere it was.

“Well, that was delicious, but we have business to attend to now,” Kurokichi said easily, bringing Shuichi’s attention toward him. Kurokichi smiled smugly (and this time, Shuichi could tell it was sincere) as he took his half-empty plate and brought it into the kitchen. Shirokichi followed suit, and together they walked off, leaving Shuichi to watch.

“Are Kokichi halves okay?” Gonta asked, confused. “Gonta no see them earlier.”

“They’re probably plotting something,” Maki scoffed. “Especially since they haven’t been hanging around Shuichi.”

“I believe I saw them upstairs earlier,” Korekiyo said, rubbing his masked chin. “They were sneaking around, and Kurokichi appeared to be hiding something in his scarf.”

“I swear, if those two set up some sort of prank…” Kaito shook his head, and looked at Shuichi. “Be sure to keep those two in check tonight, alright?”

“I’ll try,” Shuichi said carefully.

Shortly after, the rest of his classmates began to filter out of the room, done eating. Shuichi waited, however, only standing up when Rantaro began to leave. He followed Rantaro down the hallway, and tapped his shoulder to get his attention.

“Hey, can we talk for a second?” Shuichi asked.

“Sure thing,” Rantaro said, not even remotely startled by Shuichi’s presence.

Shuichi folded his hands behind his back, and began to speak; “So… hypothetically speaking, what if I had received a mysterious note from Kokichi’s halves requesting my presence at a certain time and location, but with no context to it? Knowing their personalities, what would you assume they were planning?”

Rantaro looked at Shuichi, something akin to surprise in his expression visible for a split second before relaxing.

“Hypothetically speaking, would there have been any precursor to the letter?”

Shuichi pointedly avoided eye contact as his face began to turn red.

“Hypothetically speaking, I might have. Um. Kissed them. Not at the same time though!”

Rantaro nodded his head in understanding.

“If we consider that, then we can safely assume they want to display more romantic affection, but were probably too embarrassed to outright ask for it. They’re probably not used to someone else taking the initiative for that sort of thing, so they’re trying to regain control of the situation. Hypothetically speaking, of course.”

“I see…” Shuichi said contemplatively.

_So I guess I’m going to have to follow their leads on this one, at least for a little bit._

“I’ve got some of my own business to attend to soon,” Rantaro said, “But I’ll see you around.” A pause. “Oh— and, hypothetically speaking, good luck, and don’t forget to use protection.”

“Thank you— wait, what?!”

* * *

_Two hours until I’m supposed to be there._

Shuichi looked at himself in the mirror once more, and frowned. He’d spent the last thirty minutes observing himself, trying to do what he refused to admit could be considered ‘preening’, and as time passed, he felt more and more dissatisfied with what he saw. While he didn’t by any means think he was ugly, he didn’t consider himself overwhelmingly attractive either. He had briefly considered swallowing his pride and asking Rantaro for a mild makeover (because honestly, there was no way he could look so effortlessly good without makeup) but quickly shot that idea down. He had a feeling that he’d be called out for it, and aside from that… he didn’t want to seem ingenuine.

With a heavy sigh, Shuichi stepped towards the shower in his dorm room, and began to remove his clothes.

The shower was surprisingly clean, considering Kurokichi had previously used it to clean off the remains of an intense food fight, and Shuichi let himself relax for a few moments as the warm water rushed over him.

_Vanilla-scented body wash and lavender-scented shampoo. Would they appreciate me smelling sweet? I guess it doesn’t really matter, since this is all I have right now. I wonder how Monokuma even chose these scents… Ah, how long have I been standing without doing anything?_

Snapping out of it, Shuichi washed himself thoroughly, trying not to take inventory of any flaws his body may have had. He was going to need as much confidence as he could muster if he was going to fearlessly follow along with whatever strange rendezvous Kurokichi and Shirokichi had planned. After toweling off, he re-dressed himself, only briefly hesitating before deciding he shouldn’t wear his jacket. He took one last look in the mirror, and huffed out a sigh before walking back to his desk and removing the small letter from the drawer.

He flipped it over, re-read it once, twice, three times, just to ensure that he really had read it correctly, that it wasn’t just some sort of joke.

A glance at the monitor on the wall told Shuichi that he didn’t have any more time to ruminate on that thought.

“This is an official announcement from the ultimate academy! It is now ten P.M. Bedtime, ursine!”

The moment of truth had arrived.

* * *

_10 P.M._

Shuichi waited several minutes as the sound of his classmates filtered in and out behind the door of his dorm. It was barely audible, but he could still faintly hear the sounds of footsteps and creaking doors. Eventually, though, the noises settled down, and Shuichi took one last breath to steady himself. Slowly, carefully, quietly, he cracked open his door and shut it behind him, then tiptoed over to the dorm room with the pixelated caricature of the supreme leader hanging above the door.

_Knock, knock._

Several seconds passed, just enough time for Shuichi to wonder if he had made a mistake, before the door rapidly opened, a hand reaching out to drag him inside and then slamming it shut behind him.

“You’re late,” One of the familiar voices told him flatly.

“I was waiting for everyone else to go to their own dorms. Didn’t you want privacy?” Shuichi asked, glancing around the room and then looking at the Kokichi who had pulled him inside (surprisingly, it was Shirokichi.)

“Obviously we wanted it, we just didn’t expect it so easily. You’re kind of a sucker, aren’t you?” Kurokichi spoke. “What if we’d wanted to knock you out so we could sell your organs on the black market?”

“For starters, you couldn’t do that while we were trapped here anyway, especially with the others around,” Shuichi said, beginning to relax from the normalcy of their abnormal conversations. “Plus, I don’t think you two would want to do that anyway.”

“Why not?” Shirokichi asked, startlingly sharp.

Shuichi looked between the two, and bit his lower lip.

“Because I can trust you two enough to know you won’t do that.”

“Enough?” Kurokichi prompted.

_This is their way of trying to take control of the situation, isn’t it? By leading the conversation?_

“Well, I haven’t known you, either as one or two people, for more than a few weeks. And there’s the whole aspect of the constant lies,” Shuichi said, looking between them to gauge their reactions. Both were wearing neutral expressions, so he continued, “But I think I’ve grown to understand that there’s more to you than just that. There’s more than just deceit.”

“Is there really?” Kurokichi said, examining his fingernails boredly, “What if we just wrote that letter to mess with you? What if we just sent it to you to see what your reaction would be?”

Shuichi blinked.

“No, that’s wrong.”

Both Kokichis looked at Shuichi, still wearing neutral masks.

“Prove it,” They said synchronously.

Shuichi folded his arms across his chest.

“I’m not blind, you know. You can’t distract me from the state of your room, anyway.”

It was true; When Shuichi had looked around the room, he noticed several things— not only was the room much cleaner than before, no sign of a horse mask or whiteboard or inner tube or any other strange object to be found, but the lights had also been dimmed just enough to be atmospheric. There were also lit candles scattered around the room (most likely stolen from upstairs when Korekiyo spotted the pair) and a mild scent of incense coming from a burner on the desk. All in all, there was far too much effort put into making the room have a certain mood about it to have been a lie. That, and…

“You can hide lies behind your words, but you can’t hide them behind the warmth of your hands or the blush on your cheeks.”

Sparks of understanding reached both sets of violet eyes.

“God, Shuichi, you’re way too good at this!” Kurokichi grinned, bouncing back from his disinterested expression. “Keep predicting us and it might get boring, you know?”

“Unless that’s also a lie,” Shirokichi added, also smiling.

Shuichi sighed, and uncrossed his arms.

“So, are you two going to be honest about why you brought me here?”

“I think that should be obvious,” Shirokichi said, somewhat unimpressed.

“No, it really isn’t,” Shuichi countered. “I don’t know what you two really want from me. Is it just fine like this? Us talking, being close? Or do you…” He hesitated, “...Do you really want more from me?”

A silent pause.

“We’ll tell you one absolute truth,” Shirokichi said, his tone serious, “And you had better not forget it.”

Kurokichi stepped forward, reaching out to grasp Shuichi’s right hand.

“We want whatever you can give us.”

Shirokichi then moved to grasp Shuichi’s left hand.

“Nothing more, nothing less.”

The room was silent for several stretched moments. Shuichi let out a deep breath, and withdrew his hands from both grips.

“Then I’ll give you all that I can.”

And with that, he stepped towards the door, and let the lock slide shut with a click.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ArOjEEWs5k) is the song Kaede plays.
> 
> Next chapter will bump this fic's rating up to E. You have been warned.


	8. The chapter where the rating gets bumped to E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi raised an eyebrow, trying to think beyond the feeling of Kurokichi snapping the waistband of his boxers, and asked, “Do I want to know how you two practically read each other’s thoughts?”
> 
> “Hivemind, remember?” Shirokichi answered simply.
> 
> “It’s cute how concentrated you are on all of this,” Kurokichi added, “But I think the point of this is to feel more than think, which you’re currently failing at. Get up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP! Here it finally is, the entire reason I started writing this fic in the first place!

As the door locked, Shuichi looked behind him, letting his resolve leak into his expression as he looked between Shirokichi and Kurokichi. Both were looking at him with barely-masked surprise, and Shuichi was briefly glad that he had at least somewhat prepared himself for this conclusion.

Shuichi cleared his throat, and gestured to the bed.

“This is typically the part where one of us is supposed to take charge, right?” He asked, looking between the two Kokichis. “If it’s not going to be either of you two, then it’s going to be me.”

“Holy shit,” Kurokichi breathed out in what sounded like genuine wonder, “Hearing you say that was actually kind of hot. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

_I didn’t think I had it in me either,_ Shuichi thought, but didn’t say aloud.

“So then,” Shirokichi added, “If you’re taking charge, which of us do you want dibs on first?”

Shuichi looked at Shirokichi, who appeared to be asking not out of bad humor, but of sincere curiosity.

“Well, it wouldn’t be fair to move in a set order, would it? Doing things one at a time would get really weird, really fast,” Shuichi concluded.

“So you did wanna be double-teamed!” Kurokichi said with stars in his eyes. “I knew you were into some ki— mmmmph!”

Shuichi clapped a hand over Kurokichi’s mouth, and lifted his index finger on his other hand to his lips, whispering a quiet “shhhhhhh”. Despite Shuichi’s interest, he wasn’t too keen on letting the others hear about his soon-to-be sexual encounters. Kurokichi’s eyelids lowered, and he reached to take Shuichi’s index and middle fingers into his mouth, and sucked. Shuichi’s breath hitched, and without thinking, leaned down to bring Kurokichi in for a kiss. He tentatively slipped his tongue out, and sighed through his nose when it was welcomed. After a few seconds of leisurely making out, Shuichi felt a pair of hands from behind reaching around him, and smoothing up and down his chest. He felt a lithe body press against his back— Shirokichi was apparently having fun feeling him up, based on the way he let his hands venture lower until they pressed at the front of Shuichi’s pants.

Kurokichi pulled away, looking mildly annoyed (and completely ignoring the thin strand of saliva connecting his and Shuichi’s tongues.)

“Hey, don’t get too far into the fun without me.”

“You’re the one monopolizing his kisses,” Shirokichi retorted.

“Can we not fight while we’re doing this?” Shuichi asked, mildly exasperated, and turned around to bring Shirokichi into an equally heavy kiss, which Shirokichi happily returned.

The pleasantness lasted for all of about four seconds, until Kurokichi slapped Shuichi’s ass.

“H-hey!” Shuichi said loudly as he turned around, causing Kurokichi to cover Shuichi’s mouth with his hand and mirror Shuichi’s earlier actions with a shit-eating grin.

_Two can play at that game,_ Shuichi thought, narrowing his eyes and sliding Kurokichi’s fingers into his mouth, pistoning them in and out and letting his eyelids flutter shut. He heard someone swear quietly, though whether it was Kurokichi or Shirokichi didn’t really matter at that point anymore. Kurokichi practically ripped his hand away, and when Shuichi opened his eyes, he felt both of Kokichi’s halves pulling on his wrists to lead him to the bed.

As he laid down, he saw Kurokichi and Shirokichi practically crawling up next to him, and fought down a blush. Yeah, he was definitely starting to get excited. The two looked at each other, then to Shuichi.

“Well mister detective,” Shirokichi said quietly, “You’ve got us where you want us. What are you planning on doing now?”

Shuichi thought for a moment, and nearly shrugged. “Whatever you two feel like.” He paused, and added, “But, uh, no penetration. Not tonight.”

“You really thought you were gonna pop one of our cherries?” Kurokichi snickered, “That’s bold, coming from you!”

Shuichi pointedly said nothing, and realization dawned on Kurokichi’s face.

“Wait, you thought one of us was going to pop yours?!”

“I don’t know how threesomes go!” Shuichi said, hoping he didn’t sound quite as embarrassed as he felt. “And it would be weird if you two were to… you know…”

“Are you saying you wouldn’t fuck your own clone?” Shirokichi asked, and Shuichi gaped at him in disbelief. “That was a joke!” Shirokichi added, holding up his hands defensively.

“Geez, at this rate we’re all gonna go soft,” Kurokichi said with an eyeroll, and let a hand trail up and down Shuichi’s chest idly. “Fine, we’ll take it slow for tonight. We’ll think of something else, no big deal.” He paused, and smiled wickedly. “But don’t think it’ll be easy for you later.”

“With you?” Shuichi said, “I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

“Can we please skip the chatting and get to the part where we touch dicks?” Shirokichi asked, and leaned over to press a kiss to Shuichi’s neck without giving him a chance to answer.

Shuichi groaned softly as Shirokichi unbuttoned the first three buttons of his shirt and pushed the sides apart, kissing and sucking light marks into random spots on his chest. Kurokichi moved to unbutton the rest, and nudged Shuichi to remove it. Shuichi leaned up and let the white fabric slide down his shoulders, gasping lightly as Kurokichi started to grind against his leg. Two sets of hands skittered up and down his torso, both warm to the touch. Shuichi shifted his legs, trying to offset the pleasure beginning to gather in his groin, only to unintentionally spread them slightly when one of Kurokichi’s hands brushed past one of his nipples.

“Sensitive?” Kurokichi asked, no teasing audible in his lowered voice.

“Maybe. I’ve never really tried anything with them,” Shuichi admitted.

“Guess we’ll change that.”

Shuichi exhaled shakily as Kurokichi and Shirokichi each toyed with the pert buds, flicking their thumbs across and rubbing against them. There was no point in hiding the redness of his face, nor was there any point in trying to hide his half-hard erection, but he felt compelled to do so anyway. Eventually, the two must have gotten bored; Kurokichi’s hands trailed down to the front of Shuichi’s pants and deftly worked on undoing the clasp, while Shirokichi leaned back up for a messy kiss. Shuichi helped Kurokichi with removing his pants, leaving him in only a pair of gray criss-crossed boxers which were clearly tented. Shuichi begrudgingly pulled away from Shirokichi, their lips separating with a wet smack.

“It feels weird when I’m the only one getting naked,” He said softly.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, Shooch,” Kurokichi said, leaning back and unwinding the black scarf from his neck, “We were planning on it eventually.”

“Are you really going to keep calling me Shooch while we… you know what, nevermind.”

“Would you prefer to hear us moan your name then?” Kurokichi asked, undoing the metal bindings on his shirt as Shirokichi mirrored his movements.

Shuichi contemplated the idea, his face turning a shade darker when his cock throbbed in his boxers at his lewd imagination. The small detail didn’t go unnoticed by Shirokichi, who sighed in a way that was completely and utterly _filthy_ as he worked on unzipping his pants. Soon enough, all three males were down to nothing but their underwear (Shuichi noted with some restrained amusement that the red and yellow stripes hadn’t been separated like the checkerboard on their scarves had been.) Shirokichi and Kurokichi both leaned into Shuichi, who could easily feel their own erections through the thin fabric of their boxers. He allowed himself to let his hands roam up and down their sides, causing shivers to go through each as Shirokichi and Kurokichi took turns exchanging kisses with Shuichi. It was almost overwhelming, being on the receiving end of not just one, but two amorous others, so Shuichi slowed down a bit, taking a moment to regain the breath he’d lost in the midst of their kisses.

“Well,” Shirokichi started, “As nice as it is to keep spit-swapping, it’d be nicer if we actually started getting off, you know?”

“I’m trying to figure out the logistics of this,” Shuichi said wryly, “Since it’d be kind of difficult for all three of us to get off equally.”

“How considerate!” Kurokichi snickered, then let his expression turn serious. “If that’s the case, I have an idea.”

Shirokichi hummed, and said, “Yeah, that should work.”

Shuichi raised an eyebrow, trying to think beyond the feeling of Kurokichi snapping the waistband of his boxers, and asked, “Do I want to know how you two practically read each other’s thoughts?”

“Hivemind, remember?” Shirokichi answered simply.

“It’s cute how concentrated you are on all of this,” Kurokichi added, “But I think the point of this is to feel more than think, which you’re currently failing at. Get up.”

“Um?” Shuichi questioned, but followed Kurokichi’s instructions anyway. With a bit of manhandling, Shuichi found himself on all fours. It was a more-than-compromising position, and he briefly felt butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

Shirokichi sat up and let himself rest on his knees, letting soft fingers trail through Shuichi’s hair as another hand cradled his cheek. Shuichi’s eyelids fell shut, and he could feel stray wisps of tension leaving his body as Kurokichi smoothed his hands up and down Shuichi’s back. Eventually, Kurokichi reached below to wrap his hands around Shuichi’s torso as he leaned down and ground his hips against Shuichi’s backside. Shuichi ducked his head, gasping as he felt the press of Kurokichi’s clothed erection pressing against his ass.

“Care to… tell me what’s… going on here?” Shuichi spoke brokenly as Kurokichi slid the gray boxers down to pool around Shuichi’s bent knees.

From Shirokichi’s expression, Shuichi could tell that at least one of the two (if not both) was slightly embarrassed, saying nothing as they slid their own boxers down and kicked them off. Shuichi knew his face had to be turning beet red as he was faced with Shirokichi’s prominent erection being held inches from his face, while Kurokichi ground against him again, this time without the layers of clothing separating them. The entire night thus far had been giving Shuichi a sort of whiplash, not knowing when Kokichi’s halves would be joking or serious, but there was something that told him there’d be no more jokes from this point on.

“Hey, Shuichi,” Kurokichi said from behind him, “I have to go get something. Shirokichi will take care of you for now, yeah?”

Shuichi almost questioned what that meant, but an oddly gentle hand caressed his thigh and left, leaving him with no answer… until he looked back at Shirokichi, who was threading his fingers through Shuichi’s hair again, ever so slightly nudging him towards the erection in front of his face. He glanced up at Shirokichi.

Oh.

“It’s no fun if you gag, okay?” Shirokichi said in what Shuichi guessed was supposed to be a reassuring tone.

Shuichi hesitated for one, two, three seconds, before sighing, and opening his mouth as Shirokichi guided his head forward. A quiet groan escaped Shirokichi as Shuichi slowly took his cock into his mouth, wrapping his lips around him and gently flicking his tongue as he eased down. Shuichi carefully avoided pressing his teeth as he went down, gently bobbing his head to adjust to the sensation, and shut his eyes when he heard Shirokichi quietly swear above him. Shirokichi’s hand pressed just the tiniest bit harder into his hair, and Shuichi shivered as he felt his own cock twitching at the feeling. He wasn’t sure of how long he’d been focusing on sucking Shirokichi off, occasionally leaning back to regain his breath as he licked along the tip, but there was something relieving about not having to overanalyze everything that was going on around him. All that mattered was bringing Shirokichi pleasure.

After an unknown amount of time that probably wasn’t more than a minute, Shuichi fuzzily registered the sound of footsteps approaching, and a quick click shortly after. He nearly jumped when he felt something slightly cold being smeared across his inner thighs, unintentionally swallowing thickly around Shirokichi, who let out a quiet _“Hah—!”_

He pulled off and opened his eyes, briefly trying to angle his head to get a better look at Kurokichi.

“What are you doing?”

“Relax, it’s hand lotion. I’m just gonna fuck your thighs, ‘kay?”

Shuichi furrowed his brows, not quite understanding, but untensed when Kurokichi pressed his thighs loosely together, easily slipping his cock between them and moving his hips back and forth. Kurokichi grunted quietly with each small thrust, and the noise was enough to spur Shuichi back into action.

_This feels kind of weird,_ Shuichi briefly thought, but immediately let the words dissipate as he felt Kurokichi reaching for his cock and stroking him slowly.

For a stretch of time that seemed like forever, there wasn’t much more than the sound of skin on skin, the occasional gasp or sigh or grunt, and heavy breathing. Each thrust from Kurokichi sent Shuichi just the tiniest bit forward, leaning into his strokes and pressing Shirokichi’s cock further into his mouth. He clenched his fists in the bedsheets, struggling to hold himself up while letting himself fall into a sort of degenerate ecstasy. He only registered the feeling of one of Kurokichi’s hands moving away from his thigh when he pressed closer against Shuichi, the free hand now exploring his sensitive chest.

“Mmmh!” Shuichi let out a gutteral sound in surprise, causing Shirokichi to grip his hair roughly as he felt Kurokichi straining behind him.

“Hey, careful—!” Shirokichi said breathlessly, “Keep that up and I’m gonna jizz in your mouth, and I’m pretty sure you don’t want that.”

Shuichi winced at the tight grasp on his hair, and pulled off to take several deep breaths.

“How… haah... thoughtful…”

Despite his almost-dry words, Shuichi could feel his cock twitch at the concept. Kurokichi slowed his thrusts down, then, and ran his hand up and down Shuichi’s back.

“Did you want us to get you all dirty, then?” Kurokichi cooed, his filthy words in contrast with the soothing movements of his hand. “What you said earlier applies to you too, you know. You can hide behind dry humor, but this...” He added, swirling his thumb around the tip of Shuichi’s erection, “...isn’t possible to fake.”

“Fuck…” Shuichi moaned, unable to create a more elaborate rebuttal as he eagerly pushed forward to wrap his lips around Shirokichi’s cock. His nearly-enthusiastic movements were quickly met by both of Kokichi’s halves, as he felt himself being driven further and further. For once, there was nothing more on his mind than the taste of Shirokichi’s cock in his mouth and the feeling of Kurokichi’s cock thrusting and pressing against his thighs. Soon, Shirokichi cupped Shuichi’s face, and pulled him off, then quickly worked himself over. Shuichi felt a full-body shiver wrack through him as Shirokichi gasped, hot seed splattering across Shuichi’s face and slowly dripping down. Kurokichi wasn’t far behind, as his strokes and thrusts increased in frequency, making Shuichi exhale sweetly as he felt Kurokichi move faster, faster, until more sticky warmth spread across the inside of his thighs and a shaky sigh was released.

Shuichi took deep breaths, feeling somewhat at a loss now that he was: A) Loosely dripping with cum from his face and thighs, and B) still not pushed towards his own orgasm. Thankfully, the situation was quickly remedied, as Kurokichi moved him so that he was laying on his back, hair fanned out across the pillows. Kurokichi skittered his fingers across Shuichi’s chest, occasionally teasing across his nipples as Shirokichi messily jerked him off.

“Ah—!” Shuichi groaned, clenching his thighs and shutting his eyes as he came.

The post-orgasmic haze only lasted for about a minute, until Shuichi opened his eyes and looked down at himself.

“...Oh my god,” He choked out with wide eyes.

“Yeah, you’re kind of a mess right now,” Shirokichi said, having the decency to sound somewhat sheepish. “I’ll go get a towel.”

As Shirokichi got up from the bed on wobbly legs and headed for the bathroom, Kurokichi looked at Shuichi, sporting another shit-eating grin.

“So! Better than masturbating, I take it?”

“You don’t have to be so blunt about it,” Shuichi said, examining Kurokichi’s expression. There was something beyond smug satisfaction in it, and the realization fell over Shuichi like a splash of water.

“Seriously?” Kurokichi said, “We just had some ridiculously kinky sex and you—”

“I’m not going to just toss you aside now that we’ve done that,” Shuichi cut in, making Kurokichi stop in his tracks.

“...”

“...”

“What makes you think I was thinking that?” Kurokichi asked after a short pause, though it was clear that he wasn’t running at full capacity for deceit.

“You were being kind of obvious,” Shirokichi answered for Shuichi, returning with a wet towel and carefully wiping Shuichi off. “Besides, Shuichi’s too honest and sincere to do that. Am I right?”

Shuichi nodded, and tried to suppress a yawn.

“Too tired to lie… how weak,” Kurokichi said softly.

“Just… both of you... come lay down here,” Shuichi said, and received no further complaint.

In a similar pattern to how Shuichi had woken up what seemed like ages ago, he found himself closely sandwiched between the two as they relaxed under the covers..

“It’s gonna be suspicious if someone sees you leaving our room in the morning,” Shirokichi said with a tired voice.

“You two were already in my room earlier, if they weren’t suspicious before then they won’t be now,” Shuichi murmured. “What time is it?”

“Fuck if I know,” Kurokichi said lazily.

“It can’t be past eleven-thirty. We’ve got plenty of time,” Shirokichi added.

“Goodnight,” Shuichi said, ending the conversation.

Though, with the way that he was pressed up against two warm bodies, the way his muscles had completely relaxed, and the way that he felt a small but significant burst of happiness waving in his chest, he knew there wasn’t much else that needed to be said that night anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are two more chapters tentatively planned after this one, though they're not finished. Still, I figured I kept you guys waiting long enough, so I hope you enjoyed whatever the fuck this chapter was. Huehuehue.

**Author's Note:**

> Chat with me on twitter @doomtemp !


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